A Guide To FromSoftware's Most-Loved (And Hated) Recurring Character

Patches is a character you’ll come across early on during your journey in the Lands Between as a bit of a unique boss fight. I say that because he’s not a large, intimidating foe like the Stonedigger Troll or Mad Pumpkin Head. He doesn’t even appear until you open a bogus treasure chest, which then prompts him to come out of his hiding spot to get the drop on you. And before you’ve knocked half of his health bar, he stops and begs for mercy - and should you spare him, he’ll get all chummy and gladly sell you his wares.

This introduction tells you everything you need to know about Patches. He’s a conniving schemer, a snivelling coward, and yet he’s quite possibly the most charming scumbag you’ll ever meet in a video game. No wonder he’s a fan favourite.

Never mind the canonical logistics, Patches has been a recurring character in much of FromSoftware’s history ever since Miyazaki was a game director at the studio, beginning with, of all places, 2008 mech shooter Armored Core: For Answer. As an opponent known as Patches the Good Luck, he may have just been another pilot you fight inside a mecha, but his fighting style using a long-range sniper rifle and stealth ability nonetheless sets up his MO as an underhanded scoundrel.

For one, the man’s got a gift of the gab, pleading you to show mercy, or trying to palm it off as only-a-laugh, no-harm-done and water-under-the-bridge, brilliantly conveyed by recurring British voice actor Will Vanderpuye (who’s also done voice work on CBBC shows, the movie Minions, and has a black belt in karate, just so you know). He’s also annoyingly useful as he has a very important service as the only NPC who sells you healing items. Think of him as FromSoft’s Saul Goodman, if you will.

Patches is fascinating because he’s so different from the other NPCs you meet, such as Dark Souls’ naive but loyal knight Solaire of Astora, Bloodborne’s cool but mysterious Eileen the Crow, or Irina and her father Edgar in one of Elden Ring’s most tragic questlines. These are folk who’ll lend a hand on your struggles or who you can help in return. Patches is only out for himself.

A hilarious illustration of this in Elden Ring is during a tough boss fight where you have the option to summon a range of heroic NPCs. If you summon Patches, he’ll appear for little more than a couple seconds to take stock of the situation before promptly noping out as you get a message to say the bald bastard has gone home while the other summoned heroes continue fighting until they drop.

Of course, that kind of chicanery is also part and parcel of Souls games’ DNA when put alongside enemy placements designed specifically to ruin your day, surprise player invasions, or Miyazaki’s masochistic tendencies for creating one too many poisonous swamps.

Plus, you have to admire Patches’ tenacity to survive in a decaying and desolate world, as well as his ability to turn on the charm when backed into a corner. Indeed, while he’s usually a new character in every game, in Dark Souls 3, Unbreakable Patches is meant to be the same Trusty Patches from the original Dark Souls, having somehow survived for millennia between the two games, but still retaining his humanity rather than going hollow like other poor souls eventually do. A flawed human, but human all the same. In fact, when he does his trademark kicking you off the cliff in that game’s DLC, it’s not as a trap but actually serves almost as a poignant farewell at the end of a questline.

It’s why the first time you meet him, or indeed the second time, you shouldn’t succumb to your instinct to kill him. Patches isn’t really a pal you’re glad to see, but you’d miss him when he’s not around. Even the times he hasn’t appeared in a FromSoft game, you can see certain characters are loosely inspired by him, such as Dark Souls 2’s Mild-Mannered Pate or Anayama the Peddler in Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, who also happens to be bald and sports an eye-patch (get it). He may boot you in the arse one time too many (that fall down from Elden Ring’s Mt. Gelmir is especially uncalled for), but you can’t hate him for it, really. He’s an arsehole, but he’s our arsehole.