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'Cyberpunk 2077' Player Creates Handsome Squidward And Oh God My Eyes

Ewan Moore

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'Cyberpunk 2077' Player Creates Handsome Squidward And Oh God My Eyes

Featured Image Credit: CD Projekt RED

Like most modern RPGs, Cyberpunk 2077 has a pretty in-depth character creation tool that allows you to put together your very own Night City resident down to the smallest (and often most unnecessary detail). Nose rings, scars, genital size, whether or not they resemble a handsome cartoon squid from a kid's show-turned meme... whatever you want.

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You're not losing your mind, by the way - you did read that last sentence right. In an effort to push us over the edge, one user decided to see what it might look like if V was turned nto "Handsome Squidward", the chiseled incarnation of the character that appeared in one episode of SpongeBob SquarePants before moving on to establish an enduring legacy on as an internet sensation and now, I guess, Night City resident.

Take a look for yourself below. Thanks for bringing this to our attention, The Gamer. And by "thanks", I mean "I hate you". It's also worth noting that this wasn't actually achieved via the in-game character creator, and is another piece of PhotoShop trickery using a previous render from artist Miguel Vasquez - note the "Squidward ON" option to the side of the image. Still, it's worth brining up because of how truly horrible it is, no?

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I can't stand it, and yet I can't not look at it. That pout. The jawline. The cheekbones you could cut yourself on. Those piercing eyes. Terrifying and alluring in equal measure. And of course the existence of this Cyberpunk 2077 Squidward also suggests he's out in Night City using whatever genitals were chosen for him to get involved with many of the game's raunchy sex scenes. That's happening. That thought is now in your head.

Has this inspired you to go back and change your character's appearance in Cyberpunk 2077? Personally I'm pretty happy with the over-the-top emo biker lady that I accidentally-on-purpose created. She might not have skin as blue as the ocean or a bald head that gleams like a full moon in a clear night sky, but she's mine. Also she doesn't make me want to scream in terror, so that's something.

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With Cyberpunk 2077 running and looking its best on PC, and with all manner of mods undoubtedly on the horizon, I fear we've only just seen the beginning of what the game's character creator can dredge up. I give it a month before SpongeBob himself joins the fray.

Topics: Cyberpunk 2077, CD Projekt Red

Ewan Moore
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