Garrus Vakarian, the fan-favourite marksman from Mass Effect, captured the hearts of countless players of the classic third-person shooter back in the day. The thing is, he's not very cuddly, given the fact that he's got extremely rough and spiky skin. However, this very real Garrus body pillow case solves that one downside of hugging an alien, and it's on sale right now.
It's official, because BioWare has finally witnessed the depths of the Shakarian tag on Archive of Our Own. Don't ask me how I know that. For the low, low price of $35, the Mass Effect Garrus Body Pillow Case can be yours. He's in his sleepwear on both sides of the case, one pose with him reclining on his back and the other curled up on his side. The artwork isn't quite as saucy as some would like, but the first wave of the pillow cases have been snapped up posthaste. The next wave is still available to purchase but these will be shipped next month at the earliest. And, the fact that this was released on April Fool's Day appears to have taken some by surprise.
"Wait, I could actually order this? It didn't stop me? No punchline? Oh god, this is too funny, I have to find somewhere to hide this when it comes in now!" said Jordan in the reviews for the product. "I loved the Turian, but not like THAT!" Sure, Jordan. Sure. It's the only body pillow case on offer right now, but that doesn't mean the developer isn't planning on Wrex, Grunt, Zaeed, Legion, Thane, Mordin and Javik designs too. If one cold and standoffish alien/human/robot gets a body pillow, then they should all get a body pillow, in my opinion. In fact, you're probably already able to find body pillow cases for these characters on stores like RedBubble. I'll own up to it - I've just had a gander and there are some undeniable stunners out there.
Yet, if you're willing to wait a little while longer, you will be reunited with the turian of your dreams if you use that $35 on Mass Effect: Legendary Edition. The entire trilogy (and all of its DLCs and extras) have been remastered in brilliant "super-sharp" resolution and are on their way to PC, PlayStation 4, and Xbox One. "Our goal was not to remake or reimagine the original games, but to modernize the experience so that fans and new players can experience the original work in its best possible form," said creative director Casey Hudson. What's more is that the team has actually altered important moments from the original games to avoid making the same mistakes twice.
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