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So this big-ass container ship, the Ever Given, got stuck in the Suez Canal the other day a... Oh, you heard about that? Huh, and there was me thinking events in the commercial shipping industry only so very rarely cross over into the mainstream media, but, here we are.
Jokes, obvs: the 400-meter-long ship being wedged in one of the world's busiest shipping routes was a very big deal. It's almost certainly played a part in PlayStation 5 consoles being delayed into Europe. And the Ever Given was added to Microsoft Flight Simulator, too, which goes some way to indicating the significance of its running aground (check the video below). High winds? Sure, captain, we'll believe you.
With the ship now free (right? Cos it did immediately get stuck for a second time, slightly, didn't it? Is it out yet? Will we ever really know?), you may be missing the hourly updates regarding diggers doing their best to unstick the enormous floaty blockage (something, something, your bathroom), and lil tug boats just existing in its titanic shadow. And if you are - and, face it, who isn't missing this story already - you're in luck: video games have again saved the day.
Yep, as spotted on Reddit, there's now a Suez Canal Training Simulator available to play, where you can recreate the intoxicating drama of parking a mega-ship sideways across a major waterway.
Exciting, right? If you fail to sail in a pleasantly straight line, you'll incur damage - and damage is bad, both economically and, y'know, sinking-ly. Those PS5s, if they arrive dinged, so help me I'll still not be able to buy one so who gives a damn. You can name your vessel whatever you want to - but if you're not naming it the Orca after Jaws I will think less of you - and, um, that's about it. It's a small, silly, fun thing, that you can goof with. I guess. It's Wednesday, give me a break.
You can find Mythical City Games' Suez Simulator, which actually seems to be the prototype's proper title (unless it's Totally Accurate Suez Canal Training Simulator, but hey, it's hardly a crowded market so you won't struggle to find it), on itch.io, where it can be played in your browser or downloaded for free. In other boats-adjacent gaming content, why not read about the amazing The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker.
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