Is there a Pokémon hole in your life right now - a five-foot Meowth hole, to be precise? Do you dream of spooning each night with a delightfully chonky Pikachu?
I don't know how I can continue this introduction without things getting weird, so I'm just going to get on with it: you can now buy a five-foot-long Meowth plushie. And if that isn't quite enough for you - and if it's not, you won't get asked further awkward questions from me - there's also a gigantic Pikachu plush up for grabs, too.
Just because you can buy something doesn't mean you should, mind. But given we're all struggling with a lack of human contact right now, surely hugging a giant Pokémon is the next best thing?
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The chunky Gigantamax variants of these classic Pokémon characters were introduced via Pokémon Sword and Shield. And while, yes, it's been several months since those games released, I can only presume that this kind of plushie perfection takes time.
As spotted by Gamespot, the Pikachu edition is 32 inches tall and 24 inches wide, weighing in at a staggering 10 pounds. The Meowth is even bigger at 5 foot five inches in length, which means I am now officially shorter than a Pokémon at just five-two.
They're not cheap, though - Pikachu costs an eye-watering £332 ($409 USD), while Meowth is a slightly more reasonable £249 ($309 USD) - but in fairness, they're made on-demand and restricted to limited quantities. Right now they're only available from the Japanese Pokémon store, too, with no plans announced yet to roll them out worldwide. If you're somehow able to get through all that and have a pal in Japan to help out, the plucky plushies will ship from October 2020. I'm not even going to entertain how much it'll cost to get 'em abroad, though...
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We gave Pokémon Sword & Shield a 7/10 when we reviewed it, stating: "All the pieces were in place for Game Freak to make a truly stunning and ambitious new entry in gaming's biggest franchise. Tragically, it clearly wasn't given enough time to realise that ambition. Pokémon Sword & Shield aren't bad games - not even close - but they fall far short of what they might have been: the biggest and best Pokémon games in years, and the evolution the series needed."
What kind of life-sized Pokémon would tempt you to part with that much cash? Let us know - join our community and talk to us via Facebook and Twitter.
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