There are no hairdressers in Night City, and that's really ticking me off.
That might sound like a strange complaint to level at Cyberpunk 2077 right now, especially when the game has a lot of other more pressing problems. The more I think about it though, the more it bothers me. Why can't I visit some kind of Cyberpunk hairdresser with scissors for hands and a name like Canvas Cutter, and change my hairstyle?
Cyberpunk 2077's entire world is built around the idea of augmentation and modification. I can nip down the road from my apartment and get two massive swords implanted into my arms. I can replace my eyes so that I can zoom in on enemies. I can even get a new pair of legs that allow me to leap through the air multiple times and laugh at the laws of physics in the process. A quick trim, however, seems beyond the abilities of the denizens of Night City. I'm currently stuck with hairstyle I chose at the start of the game, unable to visit a hairdresser as I grow increasingly unhappy with the fuzz on the top of my head. It's like our first few months of lockdown all over again, except my wife can't cut my V's hair for me.
It's honestly baffling to me, especially since most video games that allow you to change your character's appearance have some way of letting you go back and change things up whenever you want. Grand Theft Auto games have hairdressers. Assassin's Creed Valhalla and The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt also offer such services. Hell, even Skyrim has a sorcerer you can visit and pay to completely alter your physical appearance.
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Cyberpunk 2077's lack of anything similar is of course emblematic of the game's wider issues - and that's something I touched on in my review of the game. There is so much stuff, but so little of substance. Beyond the truly excellent missions and characters, the open-world and many of the optional systems are so devoid of life and personality, to the extent that I used them once or twice and never glanced at them again. That things like a badly put together crafting menu and the option to adjust the size of my wang came at the expense of haircuts is wild, and it all contributes to the fact that Night City feels truly empty right now.
I'm not saying the addition of a barber or two would suddenly breathe life back into this neon-tinged paradise, and fix all the game's problems, but it'd be a step in the right direction.
Featured Image Credit: CD Projekt REDTopics: Feature, News, Cyberpunk 2077, CD Projekt Red